Gratefulness

There are so many things in my life that I am grateful for.  I have loving parents that when I am in trouble financially or physically, they have always been there for me.  This past week they have not only helped me once but twice.  They are my anchor in this life.  They are there for me when I need to talk and when I need advice.

Another thing that I am so grateful for is the kids that I work with.  They are my sunshine on a cloudy day.  When they first seem me during the day they are so excited.  It makes my day when they smile and jump at me for a hug.  Whenever they are sad they come to you for comfort.  The little babies have such different personalities from each other that they can always make me smile. 

There are so many amazing people in my life that I don't know what I would be doing without them.  I have amazing co-workers and little children that I can help take care of since I don't have any.  I have faith that everything will work for the better.  There may be trails that I am going through but in the end I will be able to say that I made it without caving.  Its a great feeling!!

Balance

Allow what you need and get rid of what isn't necessary. 

I found this quote on Pinterest today and I have finally decided enough was enough.  There has been a fight going on between me and someone in my family and I thought that if I blocked them and deleted them on my phone I would be able to calm down and then also be able to regroup.  It has now been a couple of weeks and I thought that is was all done with so I unblocked them and the next moment it was brought back up.  I try to say little as possible which in turn blows up to something they read into it that I didn't write.  Goes to show that it won't stop.  They will always be there and reading between the lines, things that they want to hear that was never said.  

I got this from Pinterest again and since I love Winnie The Pooh so much as a little kid and now I believe that everyone should know this.  We are all better than we think.  We shouldn't let anyone bring us down because they think that they are better than us.  

This week has been so crazy with coming back from the weekend in Rexburg, Idaho to going to work and fighting with co-workers, and having appointments that are needed when you are suppose to be at work.  But this week I have also been able to reflect on what I really need in my life.   Right now I have a great job with little kids that I love, great roommates who have taken care of me while I have been sick this week, and amazing people in my YSA (Young Single Adult) wards.  Being in their presence always helps to center my life.  Helps me to realize that I should be doing and what helps make me happy and able to make it through the next day.  

Last night I was able to babysit the most precious kids ever.   I love their family so much and I have more in common with their mom then I thought possible.  



These are the two kids ( I borrowed the pics from their mom's facebook hehe)  They are so precious. 

I work with little kids all day and it just makes me think about how precious life is!  We should never take it for granted.  

One last quote, this one is my screen saver on my computer. 

Makes me think of my crazy friends, roommates, and family.  LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Keeping our religion with us at all times/Labor Day weekend

I was at a fireside today and Elder Holland was talking about how we NEVER check our religion at the door.  We need to realize and we are an example to everyone that is around us.  Another that was said that even in times of anger we need to keep our cool and know that even in anger we represent our Savior and all that he stands for.

Through these last couple of weeks I have been learning what it means to understand each other.  At times because of one little thing, everything comes out unexpectedly.  You can pick your friends but you are born into you family but the only thing that actually makes the people friends or family is trust. I have learned that even though you may think that you are speaking to someone in confidence, they will never just keep it between you two.

There are people who come into our lives and we start to trust them and to find that we can confide in them but because of one little thing where that one person starts to think that you are a liar and it just blows up  bigger than was needed.  These last couple of weeks I have been able to see who I can really trust and who I want to stay in my life.  I have apologized and now it is time to move on.  

Labor Day weekend!!

For Labor Day I was able to go to Everett, Washington and visit one of my brothers.  I had many firsts this week.  I went on a Ferry for the first time, was on a Island, and I was able to go on the Space Needle in Seattle.  

View from the Space Needle

 On the Ferry with my cute nephew, Charlies. He was scared from the wind and noise. 

Message on the beach. 

I love my family and especially the love that I feel being able to get to know Charles.  I hope to be a big part of his life when he is older.  

"Some relationships are worth fighting for but then there are others who are worth more than others."

Second Guessing?

It is human nature to second guess ourselves; to work ourselves up about the little things in life.  We are also the ones who can ultimately decide if we are going to let what stands in our way bring us down.  I know that when I am having a hard day that I can always call my mom.  Just having someone to talk to can helps us analyze what we really were thinking about.  Tonight I went to swing dancing and felt totally alone.  With it being around 9:45 pm Pacific Time, when everyone is asleep.  The main person that I wanted to talk to was one of my old roommates Dani.  I knew that I couldn't talk to her since she is on a mission but I know that there is always letters.

Here is a picture of Dani, Jennie, and me; over two years ago, at the end of the Spring Semester at BYU-I.  These girls will always be my best friends.  I was able to talk to them about anything.  

Kaeli got to come over and hang out on Saturday.  We were watching The Little Rascals and painting her nails.  

Here is a picture of some of the cute kids that I love to work with.  They were having fun in the container.  

Here is another picture with some more kids.  I love their faces, no expression at all!! haha  Charlie was pushing Kiana all over the deck.

Last picture for this week.  Kiana and I asleep, it seems that happens quite often!!

Back to where I want to be!!

When you think of daycare's you may think kids running around, a couple of teachers, children learning to play along with each other.  But one thing that may not cross your mind is sickness.  At Daycare's sickness can spread like a wildfire!!!  I have only been back in Moscow, Idaho working at a Daycare for a couple of weeks and I already have a sore throat.  At least it isn't strep that is going around the daycare right now but still.  Kids are the worst at carrying sickness.  I need to remember that and to always wash my hands and to not touch my face.  But eventually it will come after you and make you sick like everyone else.  Today I wasn't able to go to work so I slept the whole day (which will tell you that I am sick because it is unusual that someone can sleep the whole day away).

Even with the sickness I have loved being back at daycare!!!  I love little kids and all that they entitle

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Here is a picture of the little ones playing in the water when it was in the high 90's.

Here is a picture of Charlie!! I asked her to smile and that is what she gave me haha.  I love taking pictures of little kids because their actions are genuine.  They are just being themselves.

This week has been an experience for me.  When I was going to BYU-I they didn't have activities during the week for the YSA (Young Single Adults) in the area but here in Moscow I have already been playing Volleyball and many different activities.  This week I have been able to decide that I am done being what everyone else wants me to be.  I will never be perfect.  

   
It is up to me to be who I want to be.  To be able to change me for me, no one else.  Be crazy and outgoing at certain points and then also be able to be serious at other times.

This week the song that has helped me is RIP by Rita Ora, everyone should listen to it!!!

August 1st!!!!!!

August 1^st….a new month, a chance to begin something new. This month is going to be my month to change the way that I act and do things.  Today I went and got a gym membership at Anytime Fitness.  I have decided that it is time to get my life back.  This seems to be my time in my life that I want to change anything that I can get my hands on. That starts with exercising!!! Lets do it!!

Here is a picture of the Upper Falls at Elk River, Idaho.  I was able to go with some of my fellow co-workers.  I was able to just hang out with others that I don't normally hang out with.  We were able to go hiking and then just hung out around the camp fire.  It has been years since I have actually camped out in a tent.  It was a lot of fun but also made me excited to have my bed again.  

Here is a picture with one of the little babies at the Daycare where I work.  He was passed out but is such a cutie that I was just fine with holding him while he slept.  

So many things are happening that I hope that I am able to do everything that I am hoping for.  I know that things are going to get a lot busier especially when I start working full time.  Everyone has the ability to change their path that they are on right now.  I did that, I decided to move back to Moscow and things are working out better than they did before.  

Families......they are there from the time that you are born until you die.  When you need people to talk to you have family around that will listen and not judge, they will be there to give advice and accept you no matter what you do.  They will also never give up.  There will be times in everyone's life that they go down the wrong path and they will need all the help they can get.  But ultimately it is up to them if they take the advice or let it go through one ear and out the other.  People on the outside never know what is going on in a family that they don't have an everyday connection with.

This is my family! We are missing on important person my nephew, Charles.  I wish we lived closer so that we could hang out more because we have all changed.  It has been years since we all lived in a house together.

This is a picture of me and my cousin, Dianna Drollette.  You can tell that we are related and we have also not seen each other since my older brothers wedding which was 6 years ago.  When you don't live in the same state it is hard to find time to be able to see each other.  We all get busy but we need to set time aside to be able to get to know each other.

A picture of me and my Grandma Tincher, my dads mom.  I haven't had a picture taken with her since I was about 10 or so give or take a couple of years.  I love my Grandma but wish that we were closer.

Here are two pictures of the Heiner side of my family.  The first one is of us girls who are all related, we each have different last names but because of the Heiner's we are related and close.  The second one is of those who were at the reunion a couple of weeks ago.  If you count everyone that is a Heiner we are at about 100 people, only a fourth was able to come to the reunion.  It is so cool to have that big of a family and still find time to get together.

Families are to be together forever.  We may get on each other's nerves sometimes and fight a lot but we still love each other and respect everyone.  There has never been a time when I have wished that I have had a different family.  We are brought to this earth to our families because there is a purpose we are suppose to fulfill.

Every day is a new adventure.  During our lives we will meet new people every day and then there will also be times when we do something that makes those around us mad.  Because of one person’s actions it can change each other’s immediate family member’s lives. 

There is this family and then there is another family, the head of the households are brothers and 10 years apart.  When the kids were young they always went to each other’s houses and liked to spend time together.  Then during one hunting trip something was said and after that day they stopped talking to each other.  Years have passed and there was still no contact between the families.

 This is a story of how I felt during this altercation between families.  I remember playing with my young cousin all the time and all the sudden it stopped and then years later we were seeing each other again.  It has been 5 years since I have seen my younger cousin.  We are only separated by a year but we do so much of the same things, you can tell that we are cousins.  Because of one little argument we have missed so much of each other’s lives.  Families are supposed to be together forever but we also need to learn to watch what we say and learn to forgive. 

While being here in Utah I have been able to stay with the family that I haven’t been able to get to know.  There are so many similarities that we have also seen in Grandma.  There are many things like big calves, eye rolling, a condescending tone, and being funny.  I feel like I fit into this group finally which is weird since it is my family.  I am trying to get to know my extended family before it is too late. 

Today was the first day of doing what I want in my life!!! After I decided to make this blog I also decided to make a bucket list.  One of my bucket list items was to go to a concert.  Yesterday there was a concert for Demi Lovato with Hot Chelle Rae.  Since I was going to be in Utah already for the concert I thought “why not make it a whole weekend thing and go and see people that you care about haven’t seen for a while”.  The main point of this blog today is for everyone to realize that we are all different and have been through different trails and also different experiences. 

The things in our lives help define us.  I know that because I have the title of being ‘LDS’ there are different ways that I perceive things.  One of those things is alcohol.  I have been taught from a young age not just in church but also school that we shouldn’t drink.  There were assemblies that showed car crashes and people puking in toilets.  All the side effects of what drinking will do to you.  There is another side that ad agencies and billboards show us, the side that you look ‘sexy’ while drinking, that you have fun all the time! What they don’t show you is what happens in the end.  When I look at drinking what I see is people putting more depressants in their bodies.  One beer or glass of wine may not hurt you but what happens when you keep drinking, start doing shots or whatever other kind of alcohol there is?

I have heard stories of people not remembering what happened that night. Waking up somewhere they don’t remember being! How can you do that to yourself?!? Then having a hangover the next day!  I don’t understand how people can put themselves so low enough just to have a ‘good time’? Along with drinking there is drugs and smoking.  I have never tried any of those things and I know that I never will, so I don’t understand why people would want to put themselves through that. 

There are some people who have turned to alcohol because something has happened in their life and then they become dependent on that beer that they hold in their hand. How can someone’s life just turn upside down so fast?

We all have trials and we go through them differently, some people get help from treatment centers, or their family members if they are willing to help.  Others learn to deal with what they have been dealt don’t let it change who they are and then there are others who let it drag them down until there is nothing left to cling too.  We each need to remember that there is always someone around that loves us and wants to help us. 

Being in Salt Lake City I was a little scared.  I am use to this little LDS bubble that I know will protect me.  How am I suppose to be able to protect myself when I don’t know what I am against.  I thought that a bubble is what I needed but what I really needed to know was that I have the power to use what I already know against what is out there in this world that is trying to bring us down.

Even though everyone is different not just in appearance but also in what has made them into who they are today, we can all show that we are strong and able to make it through anything that we put our minds too!!!

It's My Life

This blog is about how I am changing my life and how I am no longer scared of what could happen.  It is time that I take my life into my own hands and do what I want and not be afraid of the future or remember the past.  There is a time when we get lost in our journey in this life and have to take a step back and decide how we are going to go forward.  We only live once, and shouldn't it be a time where we see what our limits are and do things that we are afraid to do.  If we don't have faith and are scared we will never take risks and see what could have happened if we didn't second guess ourselves.

This blog is about my journey to see who I really am and to wash away what I have become to become something new, worthy of this life. 

This picture is one of me taken at I Jump in Ammon, Idaho.  Having fun and enjoying life.  Today is the start of a journey with finding healthy food that will not weigh me down, exercising to find my strengths and weaknesses, what I am good at and what will help me mold my body to what I WANT, and to find great recipes that everyone will love and enjoy just as much as I will.

I hope that you all will find inspiration in what I post.  My down falls but also what helps pick me up and helps me be ready for what is coming next.  Learn from me what may work for you or won't work for you, we are all different.  We need to respect what others do but change it for ourselves if it doesn't work for us.